About ‘The Girl Next Door’

Unlike the movie, this blog is NOT about a high school boy falling in love with his porn star neighbor- I am neither a boy nor a porn star (much apologizes for those of you who just got sadly disappointed by this news). I am simply what the title states- your quintessential girl next door.

There’s nothing too crazy talented about me, not extremely hard to look at, nothing that would strike out of the ordinary at first glace, but I just happen to attract some of the most entertainingly crazy incidences that most sane people couldn’t dream of making into a horror flick. Not to mention as of recently I’ve lost all sense of self preservation and filter for what I should share and what I should to myself.

Someone once said- write what you know. Well what I know is a lot of crazy shit that seems to circle itself around my otherwise ‘normal’ life. So what else do I do with the insanely epic things that have happened/continue to happen in my life? Share them the wonderful world wide web. Call is stupidity, call it a stoke of genius- I call it entertainment (you’re welcome).

I was never the prom queen, drama queen, or any kind of queen for that matter- I was simply the girl in the bleachers openly mocking their pushup bras, orange spray on tans, and how many times they could fit the word ‘like’ into their meaningless conversations. Call me bitter, jealous, skinny, awkward, and ugly (which I probably was)- I made myself laugh. 7 years later- I’m still that girl, minus the braces, acne, and awkwardness… no I take that back, I’m still awkward. I just now don’t give a shit what people think of me nor am I afraid of getting judge based on what I share- you’d judge me anyway, am I right? Nothing about me is too out of the ordinary, 98% of what happens to me I know happens to others. I just happen to lack the shame everyone else has to admit it publicly (or is that I lack the dignity?). Either way this is me and my life. If you dare enter into it… chances are you will get written about. Sorry, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you. I’ll always change names so to not incriminate anyone to the point of embarrassment I’m choosing to put myself though. I’ll spill my secrets but I don’t hold the right to out yours…

What can I say? I’m sweet as pie and bitchy as hell- that’s bound to create a whirlwind of some sort.